i-hate-love

i look  to be smiling but inside im crying for i know you'll do it again FUCK what is it with you men ? you treat me like a hore but i keep comeing back for more whenever i protest .. that i am smart you threaten to rip out my heart i start to break down you begin to frown you begin to draw near but only because you can sence my fear you pull out a knife you scream"your a disgrace to all life" you start to freak out when i dont disagree you start to yell "you will BEG me" but i dont make a sound , i will never plea you are completely enraged now we are both loseing , but how ? in the end i sacrafice my life but you wi

he doesnt know he doesnt care i sit alone and simply stare i try to hold back my emotions i try to hold back the tears they come creeping out anyway but no one hears i tried to tell him before but now "we" is no more i know that i hurt him i hurt us both without realizing to see him suffer though , is mortifying now he passes me by i wonder how , no WHY ? how could i have done that to him ? why did i say what i did ? i pushed him past the brink i didnt have time to think i just have the knot to tie then it will be my time to die i am wollowing in self pity i am dieing in dismay but all that i have left to say is that

i look to see but you are not with me you are with her and she is the one i can not concur everyday i wake up thinking of you i wonder if your thinking of me but for that there is no possibility for she has consumed you, giving you immortality friends ask me " are you depressed ?" they try to make me happy, but have no success i can't stop thinking of you but when i do  , my world turns shades of black and blue it makes me free to think that your happy but it makes me sad, it makes me angry to think the way you are with her can never be with me

i have tried to shut you out but there is nothing left to doubt you control me everything i think , everything i do it's because of you my life is termoil but only because it's true it was supposed to be a secrete but now you  know i love you now  everything is ruined everything went wrong now im left standing here thinking i have no reason to go on with out you life's not worth going thru

we believed in each other we payed attention we were the only ones who actually cared for each other but now we dont talk we cant even look at each other we took everything that we both stood for and seperatly turn them against ourselves we never cared what others thought yet there ricules and sarcasme destroyed us now its only us who pay for there opinions we're the ones who bare the pain now all we have left of each other are our memories for we are no longer friends or lovers for we are merley two lonly strangers

smart or stupid tall or short happy or sad naive or deceitful these are what we judge by they are superfical yet extreamly critical for even the best person WILL go down they will drownd in rejection and ridicule over time they all think your hatred will fade but it still lives it dwells with in you in your heart and your soul although some day you will win you will put them where they once put you then they will be the lonley ones with no sympathy with no aid with no place to hide but under the shade of everyones casting hatred caused by judgements

its white as a ghost yet dark as night there is nothing out there but the fear is still here i am alone yet i can feel its prescence the silence is eerie cold and frightning then i realize im strapped down chained to the ground

it was pouring rain and still you came it was black as night but you concord the fight there was sharp cracks of thunder yet you did not wonder why you came all the distance just to see me i was in shock you grasped me gently i couldn't understand so you grabed my hand you looked into my eyes you could tell i was melting inside i told you i didn't deserve it although i have to admit if you had just called my heart would have been mauled so you simply smiled and pulled me close you were comforting me for when with you , i had nothing to flee then you raised you head and quietly stated that you wanted to come for i was

 never again never again i fight these words it can't be the end our love was so real our love was so true or was it my blood that called to you you said we'd be together that we'd never be apart but today is the day you shatter my heart you think i'll be better that i'll move on and forget you but that's not true for i still love you

i used to have fun used to be so free but thats all changed since you left me now i can't eat   can't sleep   can't breath the memory of you is crippleing infectious like a disease you picture inside my head you were always my best friend now i have nothing but my halluctionations left and these alone are driving me to my death

Do you see the sorrow in my eyes? Can you hear my silent cries? As I lay cold and bleeding on the floor. Drowning in misery instigated by you, I pour self loathing and repulsion. I no longer wish to be this person That you so adamantly despise. Like petals of a wilted rose, I fall piece by piece into shadows. Unable to change myself; live with a lie. And I try so hard to be what I'm not. I try so hard... But no matter what I do, I always fall short of the mark. You deny despite my obvious effort. My inflicted schizophrenia to no avail. I guess I'll never be good enough for you. You; the cause of my demise. I know I'm not p

Pink and purple were my favourite colours Now they are a constant reminder Of scars and bruises where you hurt me Where I hurt myself Wrap it up in bandages Long since crusted over With my bloody lust To be rid of you Morning breaks, dried to my skin These wounds beneath this thin frame I use to be game enough To tell you 'no' Now I don't have the voice You long since cut it from me Now it lies between your underwear In a jar I stare and I'm screaming For once, love me like you should

I have the best, Yet the worst, Every thing that I could have wished for, At my feet, But everything I have gained, I have seemed to have lost. It seems as if, Everything I have ever gotten, Had Wished for, Wanted, Has just gone away, Disappeared to nothing. It seems, As if I have been living, Living my life, Always gaining, Then so suddenly losing. I just wish, Wish it would stop, So then things could just be, Normal, But then again, Nothing is what, Is what it seems.

In the end, no ones there to help you. through it all, they pretend to like you. you've gotta remember who you are, you are your own, and they can't change that. so stand strong, even if you're wrong. they'll respect it, and if they don't... you won't...need them, in the end. just stand strong, you know they're wrong. for this is the time. and this is the place. take your stand, you won't lose face. and they're remember.. you were yours and yours alone, right, up, too, the, end.

The day before last The day before everything A day of reason A day of taken opportunity Stopped by the fall Stopped by the call Should've seen it sooner Should've missed my chances Through a life of chance Through a heart of guilt I feel your pain I feel my desire From the first Till the next I'll be dreaming I'll be waiting In this life of chance In this scared heart I feel this I feel its true Mistaken For what I needed For what I wanted But I'm not I'm not wrong So I'll take my chance And give you my heart I feel I can I feel I will It's yours Break it if you need Break me If you want I don't care I don'